Parent Question – Is it okay to date an atheist if you don’t plan on marrying?

Tough Questions – Week 1

Is it okay to date an atheist if you don’t plan on marrying?

This parent question will be sent home with students on February 3 to ask you as parents.  This is part of our theme called Tough Questions, where we will answer actual questions from students.  During the lesson time we will investigate the question, “Did God create Himself?”  We will send students home to ask you this question:  Is it okay to date an atheist if you don’t plan on marrying? Below are some notes on the subject to help better prepare you for the discussion.

There is one key passage that discusses this subject.  It is 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, which says,

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.
Therefore come out from them and be separate,” says the Lord.  ”Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.  I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,” says the Lord Almighty.

These verses talk about not being “yoked” with unbelievers.  The unbeliever could be an atheist or anyone who is not a Christ-follower.  The “yoked” part is related to a team of oxen that has been placed together by a yoke, a wooden beam that connected the two animals as they pulled the plow for farming.  Deuteronomy 22:10 is a command to the Israelites to not plow with an ox and a donkey at the same time.  Not only was it a bad idea to put two different animals together that would pull differently, it was also a commandment to the Israelites to be a holy, separate nation.  They were commanded to not intermarry with the residents of the land they entered, because those people would turn them away from God to embrace other religions.  Some passages that mention this are Exodus 34:15-16; Deuteronomy 7:3-4; and Joshua 23:12-13.

So where does that leave us?  I’ll assume that as a Christian parent you will not want your children dating atheists, but the passages we discussed were only talking about marriage.  Does that mean your conversation will have to end with, “Just don’t do it because I told you not to”?  Fortunately these verses talk about not just marriage but also influence.  Whenever we enter into a relationship there is a certain level of influence to which we are susceptible.  This, of course, can be either good or bad.  In the case of the non-Christian, there is little chance there will be any positive influence toward Christ.  The response that you may get to this point is that the Christian will positively influence the non-Christian.  This has also been called evangelistic dating.

If the discussion comes up, here is an illustration you can use.  Have your student stand on a chair.  Ask them to take your hand and bring you up to their level.  Hopefully it won’t be possible.  Then, try to pull them down to your level.  This is most often what happens.  It is easier to be pulled down by negative influence than it is to pull someone up with positive influence.